I thought this post was set up to be visible on Christmas eve, and since it preceded Behold the Lamb, it contained the explanation of a significant aspect of these writings. At this point there is nothing to do but recapture as best I can the essence of what I wrote before:
These writings were created during the first two hospitalizations of the MPD diagnosis. I felt troubled inside – I sensed the need to write but I didn’t know what I needed to write about. As I posed my pen above the paper, contemplating what to write, my hand started writing independent of my intention or effort and without any thoughts going through my conscious mind. It was as if my hand was controlled by someone other than myself, and what was being written was the expression of their thoughts, not mine. I was an observer to the process, not actively involved. I hope that makes sense to you all. It was a rather frightening experience the first time it happened, but after that I was more intrigued than anything else. This is what I wrote that first time:
[insert: this is not one of the times when the writing was automatic. It was written during the first MPD hospitalization, but this one was the result of my intentions.]
(written by Plex during first MPD hospitalization)
I believe Jesus is holding our hand, leading us through this frigid, murky river; but we feel the sharp stones bruising and piercing our feet. The icy water chills us until we are numb, and then seems to set our skin on fire with deep penetrating cold that burns. The current rushes around us tugging one way and then another, trying to pry our hand out of our Savior’s in order to drag us under and away from our Stronghold and Guide. The waters rise around our neck and at times consume our whole head, sending us into a blind panic, making death seem like sweet relief.
But Jesus always draws us closer to Himself and we gain courage and strength from Him as we are able to continue our perilous journey. I reaffirm my faith that He is willing and able to guide and protect us. At times He will carry us through this river which is too strong for us to cross without Him, and we will arrive safely on the other side.
Isaiah 43:1-3: (NKJ) “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass though the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, nor shall the flames scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel,” (The Holy One of Abigail) “your Savior.”
Hebrews 13:5,6: (Amplified) He (God) Himself has said, “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up or leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor farsake nor let you down, relax My hold on you – assuredly not!” So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, “The Lord is my Helper, I will not be seized with alarm – I will not fear or dread or be terrified. What can man do to me?”
Romans 8: 38,39: (amplified) For I am persuaded beyond doubt – am sure – that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth,nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.