written by one of Plex
I hope you all are not getting tired of my creative writings. I will share just two more. The one I want to share today is very heavy, and I don’t want to end on such a heavy note; so the next one will be light and funny.
I wrote this one while I was taking a course to recover from childhood sexual abuse along with three other women. Previous to this course I had pretty much given up on doing any kind of group recovery work because all previous attempts had ended with the facilitator requesting that leave the group due to how upsetting it was to the other women to hear my story. It took a lot of courage to attempt it again, but I will always be thankful to the facilitator of this group for the encouragement I received before and during this group experience. The other women in the group are also dear to my heart.
Here is the poem I wrote during this course:
A Letter to My Perpetrators
All fall under the same condemnation –
Those who wounded me.
Those who failed to protect me,
Those who refused justice to me after great offense and harm was done to me.
You are not innocent,
There is no excuse for your offense.
There is no excuse for your neglect.
There is no excuse for the lack of justice extended to me –
Justice I deserved and needed.
There was payment made.
The price was high, even higher than the punishment you deserve.
I did not pay it.
You cannot pay it.
God demanded it because your offense was so great against one He cherishes so dearly.
Yet He paid it.
God did not choose to be benevolent towards you.
God did not minimize the severity of your offense.
God did not lessen the impact your offense had on me so that you would or could feel less guilty.
The fact that I also am equally indebted to Him does not minimize your offense.
Justice was not sacrificed on the alter of mercy or compassion.
The injury caused by your sin required that justice be paid.
And it was.
You and I owe everything to the merciful, loving, just God
Who chose of His own free will
To meet the demands of Justice on our behalves.
I just thought you ought to know.
Anyone who is also a victim knows how hard it was to write that – to put those words on paper for all the world to see, and to share them with a world that could easily misunderstand. In fact, when I originally shared it with a larger group of people other than the small recovery group I wrote it for, many did misunderstand. It’s very hard to have pain validated in so clear a way. It’s even harder to accept that the victim, who shares no blame in the assault done against them, does share equally in the need to be forgiven for unrelated offenses before a blameless and totally just God. As human beings we tend to maximize the offenses done against us and minimize the offenses we do against others; but God does neither one – not for any of us. We all stand equally in need of God’s forgiveness and we all share in the potential benefit of seeking out and claiming hold of that forgiveness. It’s a very hard yet critically important lesson to learn for anyone seeking out complete healing and freedom from deep and grievous wounds.
And, yes, I just thought YOU ought to know.