This is another writing that just came out of my hand without going through conscious thought. I wish I could share the whole thing. It came in two parts that went together – this writing and a piece of artwork done on a very large piece of art paper. The artwork and writing were destroyed after our traumatic deliverance experience – they were all considered demonic writings. Somehow a copy of the writing survived detection so we are able to share that piece with you; but first let us describe the artwork:
In the lower right corner there was a large face of a shepherd looking with deep concern up at the rest of the drawing. In the distance (which takes up the remainder of the paper) you can see a very rocky precipice with a very rough and dangerous path chiseled out of the edge going from the rocky gorge up to the top where there is a green pasture. Looking over the ledge are three or four sheep, and on the path right where there is a break in the path there is another shepherd carrying a very sickly, thin, and weak looking lamb in his arms. It’s evident from the position of the lamb that it is struggling to break free of the Shepherd’s grip, but there is no concern or fear in the face of the Shepherd.
After I was done with the artwork I looked at the finished product and as my gaze was directed to the rocky precipice just below where the Shepherd is carrying the lamb, I noticed with amazement that the jagged rocks formed the exact image of a pair of hands that were cupped together ready to catch the shepherd and/or lamb if they fell. The hands are not apparent at first glance at the artwork, they are so well blended into the rocks; yet once you see them or they are pointed out to you, there is no mistaking the clear image of the hands. Just as I noticed this with amazement a voice inside my head said, “See, even if you were able somehow to manage to break free of my grip, Your Heavenly Father would have caught you.”
and here is the writing:
BEHOLD THE LAMB
(written during second hospitalization after diagnosis of MPD, which followed the first by only a couple months)
Behold me, oh you of His flock who dare to get close enough to the edge to see with your own eyes who it is your Beloved Shepherd risks the perils of the jagged rocks and treacherous terrain in order to rescue. You are brave to gaze upon such dangers, and surely you must shudder inside to see the frail, awkward one He carries. Surely you must think such a feeble creature is not worth the time and trouble, to say nothing of the perils He risks, for one who could perish before ever arriving at the top where there are green pastures and still waters. You must watch in disbelief when you see me, a tiny invalid, use all my strength to struggle and strain to free myself from the Shepherd’s firm but gently grip – causing enough disturbance for Him to stop at a particularly precarious place to soothe and comfort me, and snuggle me back into a safe, secure position before resuming the upward journey.
Can you hear Him – what He says to me, that makes a feeble, rebellious, invalid lamb feel like it’s OK to not try to climb this impossible gorge, but to relax in the security of His strong and comforting arms?
“I, the Lord, am your Shepherd. I know this precipice and all it’s dangers. I will guide and shield you. I will carry you. You need nothing more. Up above, where I am taking you, there are green pastures and I will make you lay in them. There are still and restful waters up there; and I will lead you by them. I will refresh and restore your life – I will do it. I will lead you in the paths of righteousness because I delight in transforming frightened feeble lambs into strong ewes who nurture My flock and who are devoted to being obedient to My voice. Yes, although we walk through the deep, sunless valley of the shadow of death, you need not fear or dread any evil, for I am now and always will be with you. I am always right here to comfort you.
When we arrive at the top we will have a great feast. Even your enemies will be invited to the celebration (for although they have waged war against you, they will have been instrumental in your growth). Your head will be anointed with oil, as have been the others who are redeemed of the Lord, and your brimming cup will overflow.
You see, My frail, feeble lamb, surely goodness, mercy, and love will envelop you now and through all the days of your life; and for all your days you will remain in the presence of the Lord in My dwelling place.”
Please remember that I had no control over what my hand was doing the whole time this was being created. I was a passive bystander watching what my hand was doing independent of my effort. The quality of the work was amazing. Everyone who looked at it was deeply moved. They assumed I was an artist, and I am convinced I could never have done this quality of work no matter how hard I tried if it was being done by my own effort.
And what of you today? Do you identify with that weak and feeble lamb? Do you know that your Savior longs to carry you up the perilous cliff to green pastures and still waters? If so, let someone help you begin this new relationship with your Shepherd. Call 888-NEED HIM to speak with someone.
We are wishing you all a very merry Christmas